When Passion Dies

What does one do when passion dies? I'm not talking of romantic love or emotion for emotion's sake. I'm talking about an interior appreciation for beauty and life that runs deeper than emotion. What does one do when the heart seems dead. It only beats to keep the physical body alive, but without the beating heart of the soul, does it matter that the physical body is alive?

Where does love of love originate? How can we sustain imperfect love, human love, by our own devices? Do we even know how to love, truly, madly, deeply, as the song goes.

When life has no color, no vibe, no brilliance, does one label that depression? Do we fix it with chemicals?

When the soul is in anguish, and the heart has been twisted and torked beyond recognition, from where does new life appear? Is this sacrifice? Is this brokenness? Am I cleansed yet? Is my faith genuine?

When I've gone to depths that are deeper than the deepest of deeps, will I find my salvation? Will I rise on the wings of glory? Will I find purpose for the pain?

Does the flower that is crushed perceive the beauty and fragrance that is evidence of its demise? Does it recognize and appreciate what it gave and refuse to think about what it lost?

And yet, I'm forced to turn again and again towards the One who has crushed me. Because, even though He has broken and stripped me and torn from me all that was me, all that was not Him, as I asked and as He willed, I have no other place to turn. There is no other one I would choose, no other lover that would satisfy. I am in desperate need of Him and broken dejection by Him in the same breath. How can this be?

I did not know that the roots of my flesh went so deep that for healing to come all of me would be utterly torn apart, rent in two.

This verse takes on a whole new meaning to me: "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:12-13

Jesus is the word. I am being divided. I'm being found wanting. I am being judged. I am left in desperation for Him who sees all.

"Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him" Job 13:15a

Do not fear those who kill the body...

So in the light of current political undercurrents and the constant issue of security and terrorism that has become a part of daily life not only for Americans but the whole world, it's very easy to fear that which we know must come but we still hesitate to embrace. Perhaps it's because we want life to continue as it is, imperfect as it may be. Perhaps we fear the unknown more than we trust God. As I read about those who scramble to liquify their assets, purchase property and start vegetable gardens in preparation of the proposed coming financial depression in our country, my heart is filled with dread. Then God reminded me of these verses:

Matthew 24:3As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. "Tell us," they said, "when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?" 4Jesus answered: "Watch out that no one deceives you. 5For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,[a]' and will deceive many. 6You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 7Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8All these are the beginning of birth pains. 9"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. 14And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.

Certainly we are familiar with wars and rumors of wars. Certainly it's easy for us to believe that "the end" is on our very tails. Perhaps "the end" will come in my lifetime or the next. Who can imagine how much evil will exist before that day comes. But which day drives us, "the end" of our current lifestyle as the wealthy, blessed, free? The other end, the end described in verse 14 should provide a sense of eternal hope for those who trust in Jesus as their Savior. We cannot stop either end from coming as God's Word warns us.

When my heart constricts in thinking of these things, I try to remind myself that this life is not all there is anyways. Why am I worrying about tomorrow when all my tomorrows for eternity are already secured by the One who took hold of me?

Matthew 10:26"So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. 27What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. 28Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny[d]? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. 32"Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. 33But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.

Even so Lord, come quickly.